True Love <3

 

 

As the day ends, all I think of is you. If there is a tomorrow, I know I will see you. This thought is enough for me to push through the last leg of the race. Your thought alone gives me the energy to be the best I can be. Nothing can ever replace you in my life. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I know you will always be with me. You are my last thought of the day as I close my eyes every night. No matter how restless the night was or how bad a dream I had, when I wake up in the morning you are there to make everything better. Your scent awakens my senses and engulfs my entire being. Your warmth touches my very soul. You make me feel alive and give me the strength to face life head on. I wish there was a way in which I could tell how much you mean to me. But then again no words can be enough. Oh, how I love you my dear Coffee.. You make everything alright ❤

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Will she?

There are times when you feel alone in the crowd. When the noise around you is so loud that you can’t hear you inner thoughts. The faces around you keep changing by the minute. That was something she was feeling.  She did her chores, went to work, but at the end of the day she felt lost. Her thoughts were scattered all over the place. She thought she would lose her mind. Life seemed like a maze with no way out. She walked aimlessly along the pathways, hoping that one would lead her to her destination. She didn’t seek the riches. She didn’t seek the grandeur. The shimmer of all pretty things around her didn’t excite her. She just wanted some peace. She wanted to be in peace with her life and with herself. Will she ever find it?

Going the Distance

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder! I am most certain that every one has heard this quote more or less and it attracts derision (aptly so) from all who have had to stay apart from their loved ones. I have been thinking about this for sometime now, but only recently have I realized what it feels like.

My husband’s job required him to travel a lot. This meant many days apart for us, not at a stretch, but still. After initial adjusting, we not only got used to this but also started seeing our relation in a better light. In our time apart we have communicated better. Go figure! We had to resort to text messages, mails and phone calls, but we knew how the other is feeling and it also was the best time to resolve any conflict of opinions. After his return our time together used to be, well, ‘our’ time.

Now, its been more than 10 days that he left for a foreign land for better career opportunity. Every one thought this was a risky move. But then again, whats not risky? He’s doing this for ‘us’ and I support him. This perhaps is the best time for a move like that, its only the two of us right now. We haven’t started a family yet and hence do not have that many shackles. The only issue we face on the relationship front is the uncertainty. We do not know when we will meet again, or when we will be together again. It may be weeks or months or a year.

The day he left was the worst. I suddenly felt alone. The house seemed bigger. The hours seemed longer and the night, well it was like the night resolved not be over. It wasn’t the first time I was alone in this house, but this was the first time in knew he wont be back on the weekend, the first time I wasn’t certain of his tour. I suddenly longed for him, for his touch, for his presence. The feeling was overwhelming. But I had to get a hold of myself. Just a couple of days and I was back to my normal self.

Yes I miss him terribly but its for his own good, for our good. And I think I can live with that, for now. Like everything else even this is not permanent, and shall pass. I do and will support him in every decision, as I know him to be one of the most considerate person. And I love him so.

I thought we should think of this time as our post-marriage-courting period. Oh we had so much fun while we dating even though we hardly met each other. The anticipation, excitement and the intensity of emotions was at its peak. And its the same even now. I think of us as the lucky ones, to get to experience that again.  The best part is I can say all kind of cheesy stuff. Like this (its something I found online but it fits the bill :p)

I miss you when something good happens, because you are the only one I wanna share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the only one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because you are the only one who makes my laugh grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when i lie awake in the night and think of all the wonderful times we had together.

See.. 😀

He isn’t into any typical romantic stuff. So right now, I can watch as many chick flicks, as many mushy mushy romantic movies I want and cry my heart out. I can watch sit-coms which he never enjoyed without making him bored. I can make loads of paneer. I can cook beetroot again. I can fall asleep watching movies on my laptop in our bed. I can eat on our dining table for a change :P. I can sleep on his side of the bed! There are a lot of things I have fun doing alone, but the list of things we had fun doing together is much longer.

I miss him when on Saturday morning when our iron-man (yes, we have our own Iron Man)  rings the door bell at 8AM.

I missed his gentle massage when I had terrible body ache due to fever.

I miss his yelling when I don’t drink hot water for my sore throat.

I miss him when I make a single cup of coffee in the morning.

I miss him when I forgot to take the towel to bathroom.

I miss him while watching Golmaal (Rohit Shetty’s) when Arshad Warsi says “Hum kya black black khel rahe hain”

I miss him every time I see a trailer or mention of the Malayalam movie Indian Rupee.

I miss him every time I see Baskin Robins. Its no fun when he’s not there to stop me.

I miss his amazed reaction when I lip sync dialogs from DON or Agneepath (both originals of course)

I miss his annoyed expression when I press him to translate some Tamil movie dialogs. (I tried watching something, it so ‘not’ fun)

We have to make the best of what we have and I know we will. So with all the love in my heart I wish he gets what he wants sooner, that he doesn’t let me distract him, that he doesn’t frown on the little cheesy lovey dovey messages I send him and that doesn’t change too much.. ❤

Everything worth having comes with a price. Lots of work, love and patience and perhaps a little bit of sacrifice will get us there. For you, am happy to go the distance 🙂

P.S.- This can be a good way to avoid the terrible twos too 😛

 

The Bridges of Madison County <3

Okay now, some may like it some may not, but I, I just love it!

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Yes some say its full of cliches, the silent dinner table, the caring but inexpressive husband, the teenage kids involved in their own lives, a middle aged women who still cherishes the dreams she had as a teenager, a stranger with engrossing looks and masculine but gentle personality. All this aside, I still love the movie.

Clint Eastwood ( I just love him <3) , as Robert Kincaid, a Nat-Geo photographer, a globetrotter, with oh so manly yet quiet persona. He is one of the most creative directors in Hollywood and by casting himself as Robert in this movie he had a huge task on his hands, as most people would always associate him with his cowboy and cop roles. This movie portrayed a different side of Clint for me. He was in his matter, the very manly, adventurous and free spirited, yet very gentle, and sensuous. He was sweet, smiling, gentle, and a man who knows how to treat a women. He’s the most gorgeous lead you can see at the age of 60!!

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Meryl Streep, another of my favorites, had portrayed Francesca better than any other would have. She played an Italian women who moved to America with her husband, When stranger asks for direction to a bridge she simply accompanies him there, not knowing that they would fall passionately in love with each other. She may not have the best of Italian accent but her expressions were immaculate. That’s what lifted the character so high. Oh! the scene when she drives away from Robert, I cry every single time

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Well, I may be biased, being a big fan of Clint Eastwood, but there is no denying that not only he acted really well he also directed the movie with elan.  He and his team has done an exceptional job with the lighting in the film. The scenes involving Robert (Clint) and Francesca (Meryl) have had beautiful play of light and shadow.

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What makes them stand out in my memory is not the big gestures, the kissing or the frolic, but it is the many subtle moments. How her kind of music is not enjoyed by others. How there is no conversation on the dinner table. How she almost smiles to herself, feeling happy, when Robert walks to his truck to grab beer. How his hand just brushes against her while washing, the first touch. Their, casual even banal conversation, full of desire. How she leaves her hand on his shoulder after adjusting his collar, while talking on the phone. How in the diner another women on the town is boycotted because she had an affair with a married man, showing the societal aspect of that era.

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Call me a romantic, but these little nuances are what makes this movie so memorable for me. No matter how much you scrutinize this movie at the end romance is the only thing that lingers in your memory.

My favorite part (apart from every other scene with Clint in it. Wait. That’s almost the entire movie 😛 ), would be the one, where Robert stands in rain with a devastated look on his face while Francesca drives away evidently shaken and in tears. That is the most passionate scene of the movie, knowing that both are meant for each other and yet choosing a life without each other. Its not like young love that is reckless, but its mature love that comes with self awareness.

I do not remember much about the part with her kids, maybe because it all seemed too artificial.

I have cried every single I’ve watched this movie, and can’t seem to forget the face of Clint Eastwood at the end. weep weep 😥

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I love the movie and every time I watch it, the nuances take me for a ride 🙂

I’ll quote another article here:

“The Bridges of Madison County” is about two people who find the promise of perfect personal happiness, and understand, with sadness and acceptance, that the most important things in life are not always about making yourself happy.