Absence makes the heart grow fonder! I am most certain that every one has heard this quote more or less and it attracts derision (aptly so) from all who have had to stay apart from their loved ones. I have been thinking about this for sometime now, but only recently have I realized what it feels like.
My husband’s job required him to travel a lot. This meant many days apart for us, not at a stretch, but still. After initial adjusting, we not only got used to this but also started seeing our relation in a better light. In our time apart we have communicated better. Go figure! We had to resort to text messages, mails and phone calls, but we knew how the other is feeling and it also was the best time to resolve any conflict of opinions. After his return our time together used to be, well, ‘our’ time.
Now, its been more than 10 days that he left for a foreign land for better career opportunity. Every one thought this was a risky move. But then again, whats not risky? He’s doing this for ‘us’ and I support him. This perhaps is the best time for a move like that, its only the two of us right now. We haven’t started a family yet and hence do not have that many shackles. The only issue we face on the relationship front is the uncertainty. We do not know when we will meet again, or when we will be together again. It may be weeks or months or a year.
The day he left was the worst. I suddenly felt alone. The house seemed bigger. The hours seemed longer and the night, well it was like the night resolved not be over. It wasn’t the first time I was alone in this house, but this was the first time in knew he wont be back on the weekend, the first time I wasn’t certain of his tour. I suddenly longed for him, for his touch, for his presence. The feeling was overwhelming. But I had to get a hold of myself. Just a couple of days and I was back to my normal self.
Yes I miss him terribly but its for his own good, for our good. And I think I can live with that, for now. Like everything else even this is not permanent, and shall pass. I do and will support him in every decision, as I know him to be one of the most considerate person. And I love him so.
I thought we should think of this time as our post-marriage-courting period. Oh we had so much fun while we dating even though we hardly met each other. The anticipation, excitement and the intensity of emotions was at its peak. And its the same even now. I think of us as the lucky ones, to get to experience that again. The best part is I can say all kind of cheesy stuff. Like this (its something I found online but it fits the bill :p)
I miss you when something good happens, because you are the only one I wanna share it with. I miss you when something is troubling me, because you are the only one who understands me so well. I miss you when I laugh and cry, because you are the only one who makes my laugh grow and my tears disappear. I miss you all the time, but I miss you the most when i lie awake in the night and think of all the wonderful times we had together.
He isn’t into any typical romantic stuff. So right now, I can watch as many chick flicks, as many mushy mushy romantic movies I want and cry my heart out. I can watch sit-coms which he never enjoyed without making him bored. I can make loads of paneer. I can cook beetroot again. I can fall asleep watching movies on my laptop in our bed. I can eat on our dining table for a change :P. I can sleep on his side of the bed! There are a lot of things I have fun doing alone, but the list of things we had fun doing together is much longer.
I miss him when on Saturday morning when our iron-man (yes, we have our own Iron Man) rings the door bell at 8AM.
I missed his gentle massage when I had terrible body ache due to fever.
I miss his yelling when I don’t drink hot water for my sore throat.
I miss him when I make a single cup of coffee in the morning.
I miss him when I forgot to take the towel to bathroom.
I miss him while watching Golmaal (Rohit Shetty’s) when Arshad Warsi says “Hum kya black black khel rahe hain”
I miss him every time I see a trailer or mention of the Malayalam movie Indian Rupee.
I miss him every time I see Baskin Robins. Its no fun when he’s not there to stop me.
I miss his amazed reaction when I lip sync dialogs from DON or Agneepath (both originals of course)
I miss his annoyed expression when I press him to translate some Tamil movie dialogs. (I tried watching something, it so ‘not’ fun)
We have to make the best of what we have and I know we will. So with all the love in my heart I wish he gets what he wants sooner, that he doesn’t let me distract him, that he doesn’t frown on the little cheesy lovey dovey messages I send him and that doesn’t change too much.. ❤
Everything worth having comes with a price. Lots of work, love and patience and perhaps a little bit of sacrifice will get us there. For you, am happy to go the distance 🙂
P.S.- This can be a good way to avoid the terrible twos too 😛